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  “Fuck!” Cole’s voice booms through the room. He’s at my side in an instant. His hands touch me but all I can do is moan. I open my mouth but words won’t form.

  “Don’t talk. I got you. I’m here now,” He whispers as his fingers slide through my hair. My stomach coils, bile racing up my throat. I try to roll but I can’t move. I heave but nothing comes up.

  “I got you, baby. Fuck, I love you, Tala.” My head spins and I’m not sure I heard him right. Did he say he loves me? He let this happen to me. He let them hurt me. He said I was safe with him but that was all a lie. Licking my lips, I open my mouth, “Ayoko sa iyo.” I hate you. The more I move, the more my head swims. Cole messes with his phone with one hand, never letting my head go with the other. It’s as if I’ll disappear if he lets go and at the moment I wouldn’t care. I’d love to disappear and never have to feel this again in my life.

  “Brady!” He roars. My head throbs, my stomach continues to roll. I want nothing more than to stand up and run as far and as fast as I can. I want to cry but there are no tears left inside of me. I’m ruined. I’m a shell of a person. I thought I was stronger than this. I thought I could handle his life and mine but I was so wrong. I should have listened to Jamie. Why didn’t I listen to him? I’m a fool for believing that what Cole and I had was real. Cole’s hands slip under my head and my legs before his powerful arms lift me from the cot I’d been left on. As soon as he steps out of the damp and moldy room the cool air hits my beaten skin. Moans involuntarily fall from lips.

  “I got you now, Tala. I won’t let anyone hurt you again. I will rip this city apart if there are more,” He growls as he pulls me closer.

  “Ayoko sa iyo. Ayoko sa iyo. Ayoko sa iyo.” Those three words come out of my mouth as if they are on repeat. I can’t stop them even as I sink into the darkness that those bastards created.

  Chapter 22

  Cole

  They raped her. They beat her. They broke her. The one woman that I thought was indestructible. The one woman that could smile and bring me to my goddamn knees. She’s ruined.

  I didn’t back down from them. I didn’t let them walk away. I beat, hurt, I killed. I ripped them apart like they were filthy fucking animals. That is exactly what they were. What they did to her, how they hurt her. I can’t even comprehend. As I sit here and look at her, bandaged and bleeding, I feel at a loss. I grip her good hand in mine, squeezing it slightly so that she knows I’m here. The Doctor cleaned her up and checked her over. She has bruised ribs, bruises and cuts but thankfully nothing was broken. The fragility of her slams into me. My chest constricts as I watch hers slowly rise and fall. This is my fault. I should have never brought her into this but what other choice did I have? She had to be out of the way. She couldn’t have been linked to Donald in any way, shape or form if my plan was going to fall into place but now, as I sit here and look at her, I couldn’t give a shit about the plan. She’s all that matters. I was selfish. I was a selfish son of a bitch. Tala was living her life. She was working and enjoying her life when I stepped into it and ripped it apart. Patty purrs and jumps on the bed, snuggling into her side.

  “She’ll get better,” I say to the goddamn cat as if she can understand. Tala stirs. Her pretty brown eyes are now masked by ugly bruises but when she opens them and looks up at me, I’m lost all over again.

  “Tala,” I whisper her name but she shakes her head, a tear sliding down her cheek.

  “Ayoko sa iyo, Cole.” I don’t know what she’s saying and judging by the look on her face, I don’t want to know. My heart bleeds for her. For what she had to endure. For not finding her sooner. For not keeping her safe.

  “I’m sorry, baby. If I’d known they were out there I would have never let you go. I didn’t know they were after him,” I tell her honestly.

  “After who?” She manages to ask. I look at her as if she should already know but I don’t know what they told her.

  “Jamie. They were after Jamie, baby. I’ll kill him. I will kill him for letting them get near you. He should have known better,” I growl. Tala watches me, the wheels in her mind spinning. She shakes her head slowly as I furrow my brows.

  “Kasinungalingan mo.” You lie. My heart wants to fall out of my chest just seeing the look on her face. Tala pulls her hand from mine, shoving up in the bed. She winces in pain as I reach for her.

  “Don’t touch me,” She sneers. I pull my hand back and watch as the strong woman I met that first day in her living room comes back to me.

  “You need to rest. You’re hurt, Tala.” Her head snaps to the side, her eyes blazing.

  “You let this happen to me. I will not stay in this house with you. Do you understand what they did to me?” The growl that came from her startles me. I’ve never seen this kind of anger and rage in her. I knew she had it bottled up inside but I’ve never seen her release it the way she is now.

  “I didn’t let this happen. They weren’t after- “Tala throws her hand up, stopping me.

  “You can’t say anything to make this better, Cole. There are no words that can fix what they’ve done, don’t you see that?” Tala climbs off my bed and heads toward the closet. Her body is weak. I can see the struggle she has moving around but her strength is overcoming it. She comes back out dressed in a pair of loose pants and a t-shirt. Glancing around, she grabs her phone, stuffing it in her pocket. When she heads toward the door, I move to block her. Her hands ball into fists. Tears fill her eyes.

  “You said you loved me, Cole.” Her voice cracks, tears slipping down her cheeks.

  “I do love you, Tala. Fuck. I didn’t know I would. I wasn’t looking for love. I love you.” The pleading in my voice should make me weak but it doesn’t. It’s showing her that I need her. That I want her. That she is my fucking world.

  “If it’s true, I need you to let me go right now.” Shaking my head, she steps to the side.

  “You’re hurt. You’re not thinking right. You need to rest,” I tell her.

  “I need to get out of here. I can’t do this right now, Cole. Let me go.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “You have to. You can’t keep me hostage, Cole!” Raising her voice gets my cock hard. I like when she’s in charge. I like when she keeps me in line.

  “I can and I will,” I inform her, keeping my tone even.

  “I’ll hate you forever if you do. Do you understand that? I will never, ever forgive you if you keep me here. I need space. I need to think and work through this.” She practically begs me to let her go and that little voice in the back of my mind is telling me to do it. To let her walk away and figure things out but how the fuck can I after what happened to her.

  “Cole! Your brothers here,” Brady yells through the door. My eyes stay locked on Tala’s as more tears fall.

  “I can’t let you go.”

  “You don’t have a choice.”

  “He’s not the good guy here, Tala. Don’t you see that?” My voice booms through the room but I need her to listen to me.

  “Neither are you.” My heart falls in my chest. I step to the side and do what I should have done a long time ago. I let her walk away from me. I let her leave and run into Jamie’s arms but only for now. He isn’t having her and I’m not letting her go. I can do the respectful thing and let her have that space but after I get my own head right, I will take back what belongs to me and Tala belongs to me.

  The door closes behind me, a string of curse words ripping from my throat. The world tilts and if I’m not careful, I will lose my footing and fall off. I can’t let that happen. This is my motherfucking city. I will reign over Chicago and Tala till the day I fucking die.

  Chapter 23

  Tala

  I didn’t have to say a word. Walking down the stairs was enough. When Jamie’s eyes caught mine, the anger that I believe was directed at Cole slowly slipped away from him. He rushed to me, lifting me in his arms as sobs choked me. Laying here in his bed feels wrong. His beautiful blue eyes burn through me
just like Cole’s had. He watches me but doesn’t touch me. He hears my silent pleas to give me time but his eyes never leave me. I don’t know how long we’ve lain like this. How long he’s watched me but when I turn my head to look at him, I cry harder.

  “I can call someone. Someone you can talk to,” He says sweetly. I swallow hard and shake my head.

  “It would do no good. I just need some time.” Jamie nods his head before reaching for me. With his hand around the back of my neck, he leans in, pressing his lips to my forehead.

  “Cole said they weren’t after him,” I tell him. Jamie moves back to his spot on the pillow and watches me, his fingers slowly caressing the back of my neck.

  “Who then?” He asks.

  “You. He said they were after you.” Jamie stiffens as he watches me. He blinks a few times before licking his lips.

  “If they were, I will find out who they are but honestly the work I do is confidential, Tala. Unless I’m out in the field, no one knows who I am.” His words don’t settle my rapidly beating heart. Cole has saved Jamie before. He has helped him without him even knowing. How could he do that if no one knows who Jamie is?

  “There are many so many things that I don’t know, Jamie. I feel like I’m lost in the middle of a jungle and there is no way out,” I admit to him.

  “Help me, Tala. Help me handle Cole and we can make this all go away. I can’t fix what he’s done to you but I can’t handle what the future may hold if you go back to him. This is a war. His whole life is a war, Tala. He deals with dangerous people on a daily basis. You will never be safe with him. Ever. I don’t want that for you. You have a life in front of you.” I want to yell at him. I want to scream that I love that man but I can’t. He’s right. Cole works with dangerous people all the time but there is a glimmer of hope in him too. I saw it that first day with Matthew. He may have a heart of steel but under that is a soft spot that I’ve found my way into. He was slowly peeling back the armor and letting me see what’s really inside. Cole isn’t much different than I am. We’re all a product of what this world has made us but after what happened to me, I don’t know that I can face him and that hurts. More than anything those assholes did to me.

  “You don’t have to decide anything now. You’re safe here and I know that Cole told you the same but you are truly safe here, Tala. No one will touch you while you’re with me,” he reassures me. I nod softly, letting my eyes drift closed. What happens when Jamie is tired of me being here? What happens when I have to wake up and face the reality that I have no job or no home? My phone rings on the table where I sat it. I don’t move to get it. I don’t care who it is. Who else could it be? There’s only Cole. In the time that I’ve known him he has managed to strip me of every friend I’ve ever had. When it doesn’t stop, I pry my eyes open and find Jamie still watching me.

  “I’m sure it’s him.” I nod my head.

  “I want to call my mother,” I tell him. Jamie sits up and climbs off the bed. He walks around to the other side and grabs my phone, passing it to me.

  “I’m going to order some food. Take your time,” He tells me. I shove myself up with a wince of pain and scoot against the headboard.

  “Hey Jamie.” I call out to him. He stops walking, turning to face me. “Thank you for being there.”

  “I was coming anyway. I didn’t know he had you but I was going to tear him apart until I knew you were safe.” His admission sends a jolt through me. The best I can do is smile. When he walks out and closes the door, I dial my mom.

  “Tala. How are you?” God, her voice is like an angel.

  “Nais ko na narito ka, ina.” I wish you were here, mom.

  “Tala. Your father has left. I don’t know what’s happening. Are you safe?” She asks, her tone turning concerned. Why has he left? Where is he?

  “I wasn’t. I am now. Where is father?” I ask.

  “Tala, you must know that your father loves you. I don’t know what plans he has made but he is on his way back to Chicago. I’m going to request that you don’t see him.” What? Not see my own father? What is going on?

  “Why not? He’s my father. I need my family,” I sob into the phone.

  “I know you do, anak na babae.” I know you do, daughter. her voice sounds haunted. Not the mother that left me here years ago. She’s different.

  “Then why can’t I see him?”

  “Tala! It is best he doesn’t know where you are. Do you understand? I don’t want him knowing where you are!” The line disconnects right after she yells into the phone. My stomach churns as I think about what she has just said to me. What is he doing? What has he gotten into? I wished she would have come like she had planned but my aunt got sicker and she couldn’t. Looking at the phone in my hand I see all the missed calls and messages from Cole.

  Cole: Tala, please talk to me

  Cole: I need you like I need air. Please don’t do this.

  Cole: I’ve never loved anyone, Tala. I love you!

  My heart silently breaks inside of me. I want to tell him I love him too. I want to tell him that I would do anything to start over but that’s not true either.

  If changing the past meant never meeting Cole and Jamie, I don’t think I could do it.

  Chapter 24

  Cole

  “Arrogant son of a bitch!” I roar as I slam my fist into his face. The man on his knees in front of me doesn’t deserve the amount of brutality he is receiving but without Tala, my nerves haven’t been in check. I swing again as blood sprays from his mouth. It makes me smile watching him in as much pain as I am. He hasn’t done so much wrong that he needs this kind of punishment. He merely was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s been months. Months without her. Months without feeling her and breathing her in.

  “Are you going to do this forever?” Brady asks from his place on the other side of the room. He leans against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “As long as this anger sits in my chest, Yes.” I tell him. Brady shakes his head as I take another swing. This time the man doesn’t sit back up. He lays in a puddle of his own blood. A puddle that is slowly sweeping across the floor. I stand in silence as I watch its movements. It slowly builds like a wave ready to crash over the surface of the sand.

  “Go get her, Cole. Don’t give her the choice. Isn’t that your typical M.O.?” Brady asks breaking my silent reprieve.

  “Do you know why she was different, Brady?” He shakes his head. He wouldn’t. He’s too blind to reality.

  “She wanted me. She saw me. She didn’t see the money and power that I have she saw me! Do you know how many people have seen the real me?” I ask him, cocking my head to the side to wait for his answer.

  “No.”

  “No. Do you know why? Because there weren’t any. She and only she has seen me. There are days that I don’t see myself anymore,” I say as I walk around the pool of blood, looking at the cracks in my skin. “Each person I meet sees what I am. What I’ve become. Tala, she saw what I once was. What I can never be again but she didn’t care. Because with her, I still held that piece of me. I could pull back the layers and let her have it. She’s held it in her hands. She’s run her fingers over it and then when she was done, I locked it back inside of me where it belonged.” Brady keeps his eyes on me, no doubt waiting to see if I snap.

  “What did she see?” He finally gives in and asks. I chuckle as I walk closer to him.

  “She saw my heart. She saw what I gave her. No one will ever see that again. No one will ever get that chance because I’m going to rip this city apart. I’m going to tear it, brick by fucking brick until there is nothing left.”

  “Why would you do that?” That voice sends a chill down spine. I turn slowly and see her standing there like a fucking goddess. Her heels that always make her legs look longer than they are on her small frame. Her silk dress that she loves so much hugging her curves. That long dark chocolate hair hanging around her shoulders in curls. My jaw clenches and as I take in t
he beauty that I haven’t seen in months. The girl that I let have her space. I let her walk away from me. I let her take her time but now she’s here standing in front of me like a mirage of what she used to be.

  “When you have nothing more to lose, you take what you can,” I tell her as I slip my hands into my pockets. Tala moves her gaze from me to the dead man on my floor before slipping back to mine. She stands tall, stoic. Just like the first time I met her. She holds her head high, standing strong.

  “Looking around here, I’d say there is still more to lose. Why resort to this?” She nods her head toward the body. I shrug my shoulder, glancing around the room.

  “This isn’t much of anything. There are things far greater that were lost,” I tell her trying to keep control of myself.

  “Such as?” I close my eyes and swallow hard trying to regain my composure. She knows what she’s doing to me.

  “Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here.” I’ve had enough of her little game. She chose Jamie. She walked out of my house and life to stay in his.

  “I’ll call the clean-up crew,” Brady says over my shoulder before I hear him walk away. My stomach is in knots. I want nothing more than to grab her and fuck her in this bastard’s blood.

  “I’ve asked myself multiple questions over the past few months. Why did I do what I did? Why did that have to happen to me? How do I move forward?” She walks closer, her arms staying by her sides. “Every single answer came back to you.”

  “To me?” I raise an eyebrow.

  “You told me that those people were after Jamie. I didn’t believe you then. I ran. I needed a way to get out,” She says softly, her head still held high. There’s a tremble in her body that I don’t miss and I wonder what that’s from. Is she afraid? Of me? Of what might happen now? She should be.