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  I’ve fought myself internally on the subject, knowing I had to let her go.

  I knew it was for the best. Even if my heart died with her.

  Chapter 4

  Harper

  I twirl, stomp my booted foot on the ground before swaying to the left. You ever been to Coyote Ugly? Yeah, they don’t have a thing on Boot Scootin’. I’ve worked here the last five years and I couldn’t be happier. Well, I could but those memories have been shoved to the back of my mind, tied up in a neat little bow.

  “Harper!” Luke, one of the regulars and also the man I’m dating, hollers for me when he sees me. I smile and toss a little wave as my set finishes up. We dance. We bar tend. We do all sorts of things here. Told you, we are Coyote Ugly on steroids. I was merely a dancer when I first showed up here. I wasn’t old enough to even be in the bar but Josie loves me. She’s the owner here. She took me in after I ran as far and as fast I could from home. This place was only supposed to be a stop on my way to New York but it grew on me. Josie grew on me.

  “Luke is one hottie!” Sandra, one of the other girls, laughs.

  “I know that’s right!” With a smile on my face, I head down to his end of the bar. Leaning against the counter, I smirk.

  “What can I get you today?”

  “You. You could get me you,” he says with the wiggle of his eyebrows. I laugh as I lean in and press a kiss to his lips.

  “You miss me all day?” I tease as I grab a bottle of beer and pop the top, sliding it across to him.

  “Every second, baby,” Luke says with a smile.

  He’s cute. But he isn’t Lynx; no one will ever be him. Luke is tall, well built with dark brown hair. He’s the complete opposite of the one man I’d always loved. Where Lynx was a bad boy, Luke is more like the boy next door. He’s a nice guy with a good job in the music industry. His dad manages multiple best-selling artists and Luke is learning the business. I know I’m lucky to have such a good guy, but my heart still yearns for Lynx.

  “I’ll be done in an hour,” I tell him, blowing him a kiss. He nods, grabs his beer, and takes a long pull. I go about my shift, serving drinks, taking song requests and dancing until I can’t breathe.

  “When are you going to hook me up with his dad?” Josie asks, bumping her hip against mine. I giggle under my breath.

  “Never! That man has slept with every woman in Nashville, Josie. Don’t tell me you want a man like that!”

  “Hell yeah I do! No strings attached, girl. That’s just the kind I need.”

  “You’re drunk,” I say pointing at her.

  “So what? That’s the best kind of man to get, honey. They want sex, you give it. They want to be alone, you walk. You don’t have to wake up and deal with the aftermath in the morning, it’s even better,” she says with a laugh. Josie isn’t much older than me but she has her head on straight. From the stories she’s told me, her childhood was a mess like mine forcing her to grow up and figure out life at an early age. She’s a great person and even better friend. I love her to death.

  “You remember saying that when Jim left?” I eye her.

  “Oh, please. Jim was a dumbass to leave all this,” she says motioning to her body. I laugh harder. Jim is her ex. She got rid of him and married her long- time friend, Stan, right after. To say this girl has baggage is an understatement.

  “You know how much I love you?” I ask her, pulling her into a hug.

  “Not more than I love you, girl. Get out of here. Go have fun with Luke,” she says, kissing my cheek.

  I pull back, shake my head and spin around to find Luke’s eyes on me. I like when he looks at me. I like the feeling I get. Tingles race over my skin as I climb the bar and drop into his lap. His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me closer.

  “I said to go have fun, not fuck him on the barstool!” Josie yells over the crowd. I press my lips to Luke’s and flip her off all at the same time.

  “What’s that about?” Luke whispers before nipping my ear lobe.

  “She’s mad I told her your dad was off limits,” I giggle.

  “Dad is off limits. I like Josie and I know she’s your best friend. I also know my dad. He would only hurt her in the end,” Luke tells me as if I didn’t already know that. I met Luke when I first came here. He was different but also sweet. He’s never let me down, and I like that about him.

  “That’s what I told her. She doesn’t listen well, you know? Besides she’s married, just a flirt.”

  “Well, I won’t be the one to introduce them and piss you off later,” he teases as he tickles my sides.

  “Can we leave? I’m tired of loud music and smoke.”

  Climbing off his lap, the memories rush back like a slap to the face. That’s all I’d ever known with Lynx. Maybe that’s why it bothers me now. I remember when I first went to the clubhouse with him. He introduced me to everyone. The parties were wild and always loud and full of cigarette smoke and liquor. Maybe that’s why I find some sort of peace working here. As much as the past kills me I still find a peace in all of this. Lynx was that peace and everything about this bar reminds me of him and I don’t think I ever truly want to forget that part of my life. It’s like being home even when I can’t be.

  Luke grabs my hand and leads me out of the bar and out onto the busy sidewalk. People are everywhere, and yet I’m nowhere. Some days I feel as if I’m drowning in my memories. I want to slip under the fog and let them take me away. Luke’s hand squeezes mine, pulling me back to reality.

  “You got lost there,” he says as he looks at me.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Sometimes the past is hard to let go of, Harper. You don’t have to, you know?”

  “Have to what?”

  “Let go of it. It’s what brought you here. It’s what made you you. You can keep those memories,” he says reassuringly.

  How did I get this lucky? How did I manage to get a guy like Luke?

  “I don’t want to live there anymore. I want to live in the present, but there are just so many things that remind me of the past. It’s hard to sort it all out sometimes.”

  “I get it, but at the same time, you haven’t come to terms with the past. There will always be something - a scent, a sound - that will remind you of the old times. It’s up to you how you face them.”

  “How are you so smart?” I ask, bumping my hip into his. Luke laughs, spins me around to face him, and holds my face in his hands.

  “I just know what I want. I know what it’s like to feel a little lost and unsure. Everyone has to go through that at some point, Harper. Just know that you’re not alone in it,” he says before kissing me softly.

  I want to hold onto him, I want to savor this, but it’s hard. There’s always that annoying voice in the back of my head. The voice that belongs to the one person I’ve always loved.

  “I’m gonna marry you one day, Harper. One day you’re gonna be my wife, my old lady, the mother of my kids.”

  Lynx’s words still sting even to this day.

  Chapter 5

  Lynx

  I made it to Tennessee in record time. I wanted as far from my past as I could get. I need the space, the change in scenery. This is it. It’s a huge fucking change, too. Going from the clubhouse to prison and being on the road to an actual house? It’s making my mind spin.

  “You like it?” Chip asks as we load wood into the back of the truck.

  “It’s different,” I tell him. He just chuckles at my words.

  “Sure as hell ain’t four concrete walls.”

  That is very true. I never thought that I would enjoy the fresh air as much as I do now. It was hell not being able to go outside, ride, or even take a shit when you wanted to. It’s a new freedom I have here.

  “What is it we’re workin’ on?” I ask once we’re finished and climbing in the truck.

  “An expansion of my sister-in-law’s bar. She’s growing to capacity, and the fire marshal has been in more times than she cares to admit.
She got the go ahead on expanding it.”

  “She must be doin’ well then, yeah?” Chip nods his head.

  “Damn well. She likes to keep us in business too. It’s a win-win. We get the jobs, she gets dependability, and we get free beer,” Chip adds with a laugh. I can get down with that part.

  We ride in silence through town. I never thought I’d like to see so many people, but I find that I do. Mostly I just like to people watch and wonder what their lives are like. It’s a fun game because I don’t have to let anyone else in. My life is a complete fuck up, and aside from the rare few that I trust, I don’t want to be around anyone. Chip is the exception; he’s different. He was there for me in the pen and I was his protection. We worked shit out amongst us and been friends since then.

  “Traffic’s a bitch around here,” Chip mumbles as he hits the brakes more than the gas.

  I don’t mind it. Yeah, it’s congested, but we aren’t locked in a cell. I’ll deal with most anything over being locked up in that cell again. I keep quiet until we pull up into an alley.

  “This it?” I ask, looking over at Chip.

  “Yeah, this is it. That right there is where we’ll be expanding. That building next to it, too. We’re knocking that down and building out,” he says, pointing things out to me. I nod and jump out of the truck, heading around to the back to unload our gear.

  “About time you showed up! You useless fuck,” a woman mumbles. Chip laughs and pulls her into a hug.

  “Nice to see you too, Josie girl. How you been?” Chip asks as I watch from my spot at the back of the truck. She’s cute. Long blonde hair piled up on top of her head. She’s a little older than me, but she’s fuckable.

  “Always good,” she says turning her gaze to me. She runs her eyes over my cut before snapping back to my face. “I don’t mess with bikers,” she adds, nodding toward my cut.’

  “He’s a good one, Josie. I wouldn’t bring any drama around here. We were locked up together,” Chip tells her.

  I look between them and wonder what she has against bikers.

  “You affiliated with any clubs here?” she asks, moving toward me. Her eyes are assessing me and it’s almost amusing.

  “Nomad. I don’t affiliate with anyone,” I tell her.

  “That so?”

  “Yeah, that’s so. Wouldn’t even be around here if Chip didn’t ask me for help, darlin’,” I say.

  Her eyes move over me once more before a small smile tugs at her lips. “I don’t want trouble. I don’t deal with any local bikers. While you’re here, that cut stays in the truck. Agreed?”

  Damn, I like her already. I smirk and nod my head.

  “You got a deal,” I say offering her my hand. She takes it in hers and I smirk once more. Her cheeks are heating up, her palms a little sweaty. I think I might just like it here. “Anything else you want from me?”

  “I…uh…”

  “You’re married!” Chip adds from next to us. Josie pulls her hand from mine and I laugh.

  “Thanks for the reminder, asshole. Get to work!” she snaps, but as she walks away she looks at me over her shoulder and winks. Yeah, I’ll be getting some of that soon.

  “So, what’s the deal with this place? It’s popular?”

  “You could say that. One of the top bars in the state. People come from all over to hang out here. She brings in live bands most weekends. The place is hot. Got dancers and all.”

  Dancers?

  “Strippers?” I ask cocking my head to the side.

  “No, man! This is a bar, not a strip club. They dance, like line dancing and shit,” he chuckles.

  “Jesus, Lynx. You need to get your dick wet, man.”

  I need to get something, that’s for sure.

  “How the hell would I know? I didn’t grow up here.”

  “Not with that accent, you didn’t.”

  “What accent? I don’t have a damn accent, you do.” Chip laughs, throwing his head back. I can’t stop the smile that crosses my face, either. It’s been far too long.

  “Get the hammers and let’s go tear some shit up,” he says, moving to the back of the truck. I follow behind him, grabbing what we need and heading into the next building. “Demolition,” he says looking around at the already messy space.

  “We get to beat the shit outta some walls. Stress reliever?” I ask glancing over at him.

  “Fuck yeah. Who wouldn’t need that after the time we’ve spent inside?”

  “True. Let’s do this,” I tell him, swinging the hammer at the wall.

  Chapter 6

  Harper

  “What the hell is all that noise?” I ask Josie when I walk in for my shift.

  “Construction,” she says with a roll of her eyes.

  “You’re kidding me? It’s so damn loud. Are they at least hot?”

  Josie barks out a laugh. “If you consider my brother-in-law hot, then yeah. His friend isn’t just hot, he’s downright sexy as hell,” she informs me, peeking my interests. I turn on my heel and Josie stops me.

  “Where the hell are you going?”

  “To check out this sexy man you’re talking about. You can’t be the only one getting an eyeful! That’s just mean!”

  Josie laughs and follows behind me as we head out the back door. I glance at the truck full of materials before heading toward the noise with Josie hot on my heels. As I step in the back door, a strange feeling rushes over me. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and a chill races down my spine. I don’t know what it is, but as I walk forward, I spot a guy with blonde hair bending over a pile of trash. But I don’t think he’s the source of my senses going haywire, even though I appreciate the fine specimen.

  “He has a nice ass,” I whisper to Josie.

  “The hell?! That’s Chip, my brother-in-law!” she squeals loud enough to catch his attention. He stands up, a smirk appearing on his face.

  “Aww, Sis. You got me a present,” he says sauntering over to us. His eyes roam my body, making me shiver.

  “I didn’t get you shit. This is Harper, she works with me.”

  Chip extends his hand, taking mine in his. “Nice to meet you. Hey, jackass! Come meet the girl,” he calls out over his shoulder.

  “Why are you being so loud, Chip?” Josie asks with a huff. She moves around him and looks at wall that has seen better days. “This is the expansion, Harper.”

  I step around Chip and follow her gaze. “It’s a wall.”

  “Won’t be when we get done with it,” a man says.

  Ice slips through my veins as I let the memories assault me head on. No. It can’t be. Shaking my head, I reach for Josie’s hand holding it tightly in mine.

  “You okay?” she asks, leaning into me. I shake my head no, but it’s too late. She’s already turning around and I’m being forced to turn with her. As soon as I do, all the air leaves my lungs. His hair’s longer than it was before, the sides still shaved short. His blues eyes that once sparkled when I’d look into them have become dull, lifeless. I don’t see any traces of the boy I once loved.

  “This is Lynx. He’ll be working with me here,” Chip chimes in.

  We both stare at each other, neither willing to break the standoff. I didn’t miss the quick intake of breath when he looked at me. I wouldn’t doubt he can see the way sweat beads on my temples either. My heart is racing in my chest and I feel like I may pass out. All the emotions, feelings I’ve had for him since the day I first met him, come rushing me at once.

  “Nice to meet you,” Lynx says in a disaffected tone, finally breaking our gaze. “Got work to do.”

  He turns on his heel and walks away from us. My heart is pounding in my chest. He acted like he didn’t even know me. How could he? How is he here? I want to ask but I can’t make the words form. Lynx is out of prison and he’s here. How could the world be so damn cruel to me?

  “Harper? What’s wrong?”

  “It’s him, Josie,” I whisper.

  “Who is who?” Chip asks movi
ng closer to the two of us.

  “He’s who, honey?” Josie asks, pulling me a little closer to her.

  “Him. The guy I told you about,” I say as tears well up in my eyes.

  “From your hometown? That’s him?” she asks in shock.

  “It’s him.”

  “I’m confused!” Chip snaps, looking between us.

  “So what? You’re always confused. We need to go. Get back to work!” Josie snaps, pulling my arm so I follow along.

  I feel numb. I feel like all the strength I have has been ripped out of me. I follow along in a daze of too many memories and an ache that will never leave me. He can’t be here. How is he here? They said he was sentenced to life in prison. I know I didn’t imagine that. Him being here doesn’t make sense. This can’t be true.